The answer to the cause of all of our son's medical diagnoses is officially called "UBE2A X-Linked Mental Retardation." It is rare and we are the first case that the University of Iowa has ever seen. There are only 8 other cases noted world-wide and counting ourselves and another family I was lucky enough to stumble upon via Facebook of all places - that totals just 10 cases amongst just 7 families so far. This has absolutely blown my mind.
I will admit that I sobbed through reading the entire case study that was written in 2006. It was hard reading that out of all 8 patients cited in the study that none of them spoke. Other commonalities include my son's pineal cyst, seizures, his "dysmorphic facial features", large fontanelle (that didn't close until he was nearly 3), hypotonia, funky toe nails, puffy feet, skin abnormalities, his intellectual disability, fused horseshoe kidney, seizures and his brain abnormalities as well.
We were told that the Geneticists are officially learning from Abram and that there wasn't anything that they could tell us to do besides what we are doing already. Abram has been in multiple therapies a week since before his first birthday and gained the ability to walk just last Christmas. Reading that he may never speak hit me hard but I am doing what I can do to help him communicate the best. We are already in Speech twice a week, have been working on Feeding Therapy for over a year and he has Occupational Therapy as well every week. We are doing exactly what we need to be doing to give our son the best life possible.
The SLPs we have working with Abram are amazing: one works towards Neuro-Development with breathing, pressure points and learning some signs while the other works on eye contact and making requests appropriately as well as mimicking gestures and hand-movements. All these tasks require the hand-eye coordination that he needs so badly to be able to sign better vs. approximations and to eventually learn how to use PECS.
Searching for an answer and a diagnosis was a difficult task. There are many people out there who feel uncomfortable with genetic counseling and feel that physicians "tear their children apart" visually. When doctors and specialized physicians look at my son they see macrocephaly, dysmorphic facial features, a transverse palmer crease, hypotonia, diastasis recti, hypoplastic toenails, hypotonia and an epileptic. I was honestly RELIEVED when we met our first Developmental Specialist who looked at my child and starting at his head went down his entire body pointing out the physical markers of what she knew to be a part of a bigger picture.
We now know that "bigger picture" is the UBE2A gene mutation.
With Genetic Counseling comes the discussion that you could pass this on to another child. Abram's condition is "x-linked" which means that the mother is a carrier OR it could happen spontaniously. I plan to get bloodwork done to find out if I carry this gene mutation and what precautions I need to take for my own health, if any.
Genetic counseling from here focuses primarily on reproduction. Despite the fact that I personally hadn't planned on having more children - this diagnosis would not prevent me from having another child. The gentle tip-toeing that happens when it comes to diagnoses like this and future pregnancies makes me sad. To think someone would NOT want to have a child because of this diagnosis breaks my heart. This little boy has taught me so much about life, love and to slow down for all the little things. His smile can melt the most bitter heart and his hugs make all my petty thoughts go right out the window. He is Abram and the world has so much to offer him. I would choose him all over again. Without this diagnosis I would have missed out on an entirely different world - a world I could not picture myself without.
Does this diagnosis change things for Abram? No. We will have to continue to do what we have always been doing. We will provide all that we can to ensure that he has the best life possible. Will sharing our story possibly help someone else down the road? Yes. Absolutely, Yes!
Abram will now inevitably be a patient in a future case study on UBE2A. Optimistically, when another parent reads about "Patient #9", he will give another worried parent hope that their child will be able to do so many more things that the case study states. This is a new syndrome. Perhaps someday it will have a name and it is most likely under diagnosed.
So much of Abram's future depends on intervention and therapy now. The only thing that I can do is to continue to share our story and our successes. I hope that by doing so I can meet more people with this diagnosis who are going through similar struggles. I hope that Abram can blow this whole "absent speech" thing out of the water but if he doesn't I will help teach him other ways to communicate. His facial expressions already say so much more than words ever could. Life is too short to concentrate on the things that he cannot do.
Abram can light up a room with his smile. His laughter can wipe away any tears. His fierce love (ahem - obsession) of kitties is heart warming. His hugs light up my word.
Diagnosis or no.... there is ALWAYS HOPE.
With love from Iowa,
**Updated to say this: Even our Geneticist felt extremely uncomfortable using the term "mental retardation". The case study that I was given to learn about my son's condition began by telling me what a burden people with this diagnosis are on society. Sadly, so many people have used the words used to describe a medical condition and use them in a hurtful way towards people. Although this is our son's medical diagnosis - there are better terms for this condition such as "intellectual disability" and I hope that the medical profession catches up. A medical diagnosis is what it is. It isn't anything to be ashamed over. It is a diagnosis and nothing more. It doesn't define our son, nor will it ever define him. Abram is more than a diagnosis and more than a word. If you find yourself using "mentally retarded" as an insult to someone - please think twice about it. You are hurting more people than you know.**