I'm feeling scared lately. I had been asked to do a story on the News - just sharing Abram's story from the start and how hard it has been to first and foremost - get proper medical care for a child that is so very medically complex and lastly, having legal access to a medicine that he needs so badly. I chickened out on doing the story after getting advice from other parents/advocates in other legal states.
I have written every Iowa Senator twice and have only gotten a few responses. I have written every single Iowa House Member twice as well and have started down the long line of calling home phone numbers (don't worry - they are posted publicly on their own website and completely legal). Most don't return my phone calls either.
I have spoken with US Senator Grassley himself, I have spoken with US Senator Joni Ernst's Regional Director (still waiting for an official response from her) and I have met with the Iowa Governor's Health Advisor since the Governor is entirely too busy to meet with a worried mama regarding a bill he signed himself.
I was told by the Governor's Health Advisor to reach out to the Iowa Department of Health who were by the way, absolutely sympathetic with our story - as is most people who hear it - but the law is the law and there is no way to get a Registration Card through the back door as I was led to believe. Yesterday was a hard day after several phone calls and exciting prospects only be be shoved back in the mud.
I'm trying but I'm getting the steam knocked out of me. Only 72 people have been issued cards in our state. That is not many people getting help compared to the large amount of money our state spent on implementing said cards. And when you realize that of those 72 cards - most of them are probably care givers over actual patients. The fact is - when you sign up for a card - you also have to sign up anyone and everyone who would need to be able to administer the medicine. So for our family - we would need 3 cards just for us. However, that isn't even counting any of his care providers like Respite or SCL who can administer psychotropic drugs like Valium to my child in an emergency without needing such things in place. My son CAN NOT overdose on a medicine like CBD but we have tubes of Emergency Meds that are considered controlled substances that could kill him if he were overdosed on them and no one blinks an eye. How is it that people are MISSING THIS?!
Being vocal about this is scary. Being open about it is scary. I backed out of the News Story out of FEAR. Fear that someone will take my child away. Fear of being thrown in jail for doing what is right. Fear of having his medicine taken away even though one of the Country's Best Hospitals who have a Level 4 Epilepsy standing back and support it 100% and I have proof of that within his own medical records.
I'm sad and I'm frustrated and I want to do the right thing. Standing up for what you believe in has been such a vital role in my life - my whole life. Doing that is right is scary. My son is seizure free and that is what matters the most. But the story that goes with it..... matters. He is not just a "sympathetic story" as Gov. Chris Christie claimed when CBD was brought up in the Republican debate weeks ago. My son is a boy. A human. A child. My baby. My LIFE. My absolutely everything.
And to think that me standing up and saying "Hey... our own Hospital and Physician betrayed us, the law isn't working for us and no one is helping." can land me in jail just because I said it publicly is horrifying.
I've tried my hardest to do the right thing and play by the rules. I have written so many emails when I could be relaxing or reading a book. In my downtime, I am pleading for help from anyone who will listen. I don't get to relax or have "me" time because I am always having to fight for my son's rights. When you have to fight so hard just to get good health care - only to turn around and have to fight for his medicine - it is hard not to get angry.
Change needs to happen and it needs to happen now. For him. For you. For your kids. For all of us.